


Shaken to the Core

by XxFoxit_Martinez



Category: Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ;), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Patton, Hurt Virgil, Logan and Roman are idiots, Near Death Experiences, Non-descriptive Body Horror, Pat decks Roman, Patton is BAMF, Virgil needs help, i still love them though, im not really sorry, im sorry, mild body horror, no joke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 05:45:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxFoxit_Martinez/pseuds/XxFoxit_Martinez
Summary: Logan and Roman make a mistake that nearly kills Virgil. Can Patton right their wrong in time to save him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I cried. Roman and Logan are assholes. Im sorry...

The cracks first appeared he was alone. 

Virgil was sitting on his bed drawing and listening to My Chemical Romance when he felt it. 

It was as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to his ribs and mercilessly beating him with it. A scream of pain wracked it’s way up his throat, but was muffled by the sleeve of his hoodie as he threw his hand over his mouth. 

Oh god oh god ohgodohgodohgod.

He crawled off of his bed over to the mirror on his wall, small sobs coming from his lips even with his hand over his mouth as he worked his way over slowly to the mirror.

He took a minute to gain focus and work past the pain before yanking his hoodie off and lifting up his shirt. 

When he saw what was there a much louder sob pushed from between his lips.

Cracks. 

Starting at his left hip slowly working their way up his abdomen and onto his chest. Something that looked like oil and blood dripped slowly from the newly formed crevices in his skin. Bruises were forming around the edges in shades of black, blue and yellow.

He let his shirt slip from his fingers and sat back on his knees. He finally caught his own reflections eye in the mirror. His makeup was smeared down his red puffy cheeks and exposed the heavy, purple bags under his eyes. His hair was messy from where he had grabbed his head in a state of panic. He looked like shit. He felt like it too.

“So this is how I go huh?” He whispered to the empty room.

...

“Not surprised.”

{°°°}

He figured out pretty quickly what was happening. Patton would avoid eye contact, Roman didn't talk to him and Logan would freeze every time he entered the room. 

They didn't tell him. He didn't expect them to. It was supposed to be a secret between the three of them anyway. Why make it awkward? 

Oh hey, by the way, I totally know you got Thomas is to take anxiety medication. Yeah, also it's totally gonna kill me. Anyway how's your day been?

Not happening.

Whenever he felt the cracks worsen he simply shut himself in his bathroom for as long as it took for it to stop and to clean himself up. The blood-oil stuff was a mess to clean up so he stopped trying to clean the bathroom after every “attack”. It was gross but at this point he didn't care. He was dying after all.

This happened consistently for a week before it really got worse. The cracks spread rapidly and Virgil spent most of his time in his bathroom, which was now covered in a layer of black sludge. He left only if he knew nothing was going to happen, which was almost never at this point. And despite the fact that Pat had tried to talk to him consistently over the last two weeks he felt...so alone.

{°°°}

Patton missed Virgil. Ever since Logan came to him and Roman with the idea of medication he felt...iky. Roman had been on board right away but Patton wanted to ask Virgil about it and the others wouldn't let him. 

He felt wrong. Virgil was his best friend and he hated lying. He had rarely seen Virgil since this entire thing started and when he did Virgil looked on the brink of death. It had been two weeks since they had they had a proper conversation and oh, he just wanted to hug his son right now. He wanted to help Virge with whatever was going on and see if the pills had done anything bad. 

Patton was curled up in his bed debating on going to tell Virgil what was going on. He’d tried to check on the other side before but Virge had always turned him away saying “I’m fine,” or “I’m just tired.” 

In fact Patton was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he only snapped out when a violent, hysterical scream pierced through the tense air of the mind scape.

He shot straight up, throwing his quilt and several stuffed animals off of his bed. He swung his door open and rushed into the hall looking around widely until another scream pierced it's way into his brain. 

His stomach sank. 

The scream came from Virgil’s room.

{°°°}

Virgil felt it coming. After about two weeks he could feel it before it hit, like someone would just start slowly squeezing his kidney until pain took over his entire body. The cracks almost covered his body now. Up to his collarbone, forearms and ankles. 

This one was different though. He could tell. His stomach twisted differently and his hands shook more than usual. The throbbing all over his body was more intense as well.

This was gonna be the last one.

He felt tears gather in the corner of his eyes as he walked shakily from the bathroom to the desk in his room. He didn't want to sit down but his legs were giving out. 

He slumped into the chair and pulled out a new sheet of lined paper and his favorite pen. He couldn't figure out what to write to the others. He wanted to say goodbye but he wasn't good at all this mushy stuff. 

Fuck it.

He poured out everything he was thinking onto the paper until he had to flip it over for more room. Halfway down the second side the pain hit full force.

He tried to push up to make it to the bathroom but ended up falling onto the the floor, chair toppling right alongside him. 

The pain was so much at once. It tore through him. Literally. He couldn't breath, he could barely think. He wanted it to end.

Make it stop oh god oh god please helpme helpme helpme i should have told them i dont wanna die please stop it it hurts

Tears ran down his face as he curled into a ball. He clenched his jacket’s sleeves looking for some release but all he felt was his fingers cracking and slipping on the weird sludge that was now soaking the fabric. He felt a scream claw its way up his throat. 

{°°°}

Hands. 

Hands were on him. Pulling his own fingers from where he clenched the hoodie till it tore. Someone was crying and holding him. Pushing his bangs from his forehead, as he felt tears land on his face. The person was singing to him with shuddering breaths. He wish he knew who it was. He couldn't sort out any real thought and his body was thrashing out of his control, jerking violently in every direction.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.  
You make me happy when skies are gray.  
You’ll never know dear how much i’ll love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

Patton?

Virgil open his mouth to talk, only to start hacking up black sludge. The taste of mud and iron worked its way up his throat and passed his lips. I can't breathe!

The coughing, pain and cracking went on for what felt like hours. The presence of two others appeared by his side only to be pushed back by what he assumed was Patton. It took all of his strength but he managed to pull his eyelids apart. He locked eyes with Pat.

“V-virgil? Kiddo-o you with-th me?”

“Virgil, what caused this?” Virgil’s eyes flickered towards the voice even when his body jerked away, curling further into Patton’s arms.

“Not now Logan.” He looked back at Patton who was glaring at who he gathered was the logical side. Patton looked…. Scary. His eyes were red and watery but looked as if they were shooting daggers to kill someone. His entire face a bright pink in the non-blushy way. Sadness? Anger? This wasn't Pat. 

He coughed again and all attention was back on him. 

He whimpered “P-patn?”

“Im here kiddo. Im right here…”

“Hurts...make it stop?”

He felt fingers run through his hair. “Yeah I know kiddo. I’m not sure I can make it stop, but i'm damn well gonna try.”

“I-I think ima die?”

The hand froze and three people sucked in at the same time.

“No. You're not gonna die Virgil. You're my best friend and im not letting you die.”

“I can feel it… I don't wanna die Pat.” His fists worked their way into his polo. “Don't let me die.” 

Tears. Everything was blurry as tears ushered down his cheeks making tracks through the black goop that strained his face. He let loose a few strangled gasps as he felt himself crumble.

“NO! COME ON VIRGIL PLEASE! I-I cant l-loose you…”

“M’sorry Pat….”

{°°°}

Patton’s arms were empty now. They had been for an hour. At least what he thought was an hour. He didn't know anymore. He didn't care. His best friend died in his arms and he did nothing but cry.

When Virgil passed it was messy. A mix of dust and black sludge were pooled around him staining everything it touched. The only thing left was Virgil’s hoodie, which Patton had clutched in his closed fists. Logan and Roman were still standing in the doorway where Patton had kept them. He still didn't let them close. 

When Patton finally moved from his kneeling position, two hours and thirty-seven minutes later, he fell onto the edge of Virgil’s bed smearing black onto the mussed up sheets. 

Logan spoke, breaking the silence. “Patton. We... we should clean this up.”

Pat looked up at him from the hoodie in his grip. Mouth opening and closing a few times before he found his voice. “No.” 

“Pat this is hard for all if us but surely we cant-” Roman was cut of when a fist connected with the side of his face. 

“Patton!” Logan yelled as Princey fell to the floor with a thud.

“NO LOGAN…” He yelled spinning to face the logical trait, and grabbing by his collar. “MY BEST FRIEND JUST DIED IN MY ARMS AND YOU BOTH ACT LIKE IT’S NOTHING!” He spat it out as if it was the most disgusting thing ever to touch his tongue. 

Tears threatened to spill from Patton's eyes as he stared Logan down. 

“He’s gone…

And it’s because of his own family….”

Pat let go of his shirt, arms swinging to his sides. A sob broke through his lips as he sank to the floor once more, curling up into a tight ball. His whole body shook as he cried loudly into Virgil’s hoodie.

Roman looked on in disbelief. Patton hadn't cried like this ever...not even when Thomas got dumped.

Bile rose in his own throat as he looked over the moral side. He threw his hand over his mouth in order to keep it down. Tears spilled down his own cheeks as he looked up at Logan. 

His eyes widened when he saw red blotchy cheeks and and shaking. 

“What did we do?” He heard Logan whisper.

“Oh god what we did do?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're all sad.

It had been days since they all spoke to one another. It had been days since Pat left Virgil's room. Logan often heard crying. He also learned quickly that Patton did not want to be disturbed, after being ignored time and time again. 

Logan got up from his desk and started pacing. His hand was brought up to his mouth so he could chew his thumb nail, a habit he hated but didn't bother to stop. 

It had been six days since Virgil’s… Since he found out how stupid he was. Of course those pills would do something. They were suppose to. He just wished it hadn't been as consequential as it was. He just wished Virgil was still here...

How ironic. The one person who might have been able to help sort out this mess was the one who died because of it.

Logan sat at the edge of his bed with his arms propped up on his knees and face in his hands. He felt his face heat up as tears gathered behind his eyes, for what felt like the hundredth time this week.

Virgil. We need you.

{°°°}

Roman was sat on the couch, knees pulled up to his chest and his chin against his chest. A Disney movie played on the TV but he wasn't watching it. It was more like white noise at this point. Something to try and distract himself with.

He missed the others. Logan’s big words and endless rambling about space. Patton’s dad jokes and happy, room filling laugh. Virgil’s…. 

Virgil.

Oh god how he missed Virgil. The ice to his fire. The one who could get under his skin and annoy him to no end in silly banter. The others never did that. They never would now.

His cheek throbbed at the memory of the moral sides punch. Pat didn't leave Virgil's room. Not for anything. Roman didn't blame him. Logan only came out when he needed food, water or blood circulation. They didn't talk to each other. Not for six days. 

He bought his hand down from his cheek only to see his fingers covered in wetness. Crying again. The hole that had formed in his stomach grew bigger.

Roman felt so lonely.

Virgil. We miss you.

{°°°}

Patton was lying curled up on Virgil’s bed. He hadn't moved in long time. He hadn't eaten or drank either but it didn't matter. 

A crumpled up, tear stained paper was clenched in his right hand. He gripped the black and purple hoodie that was wrapped around him with his left. It still was stained black from the sludge but he didn't dare wash it. It could take the smell away. The only thing that helped him sleep, even if he was always awakened by screaming and dripping black hands. 

Lo and Ro had tried to get him out of the anxious side’s room after they figured out his plan to hole himself up but he ignored them. They left him alone after a while. 

Tears slipped across the bridge of his nose and landed on the blanket under him. His eyes were already tired again from almost endless crying. They slid shut once again undoubtedly only to open after another nightmare.

Virge. I love you

{°°°}

Virgil’s eyes shot open to nothing. He was floating in a vast darkness with no clear surroundings. It felt like his body was being swept along like as if he was in water but 

Oh god. Did I die. I should be dead. Where is this. HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!!

He felt something brush his cheek as it floated past his face. He jerked back with a scream until he saw it was only a raggedy looking teddy bear. 

Wait… Is that…?

He reached out and grabbed the bear. It’s right eye was falling off and it's limbs were only held on by a few stitches. 

Holy shit...this is Thomas’s old teddy bear. I completely forgot this existed. His eyes widen at the realization. That means...oh fuck. He looks up, or what he thinks is up. He sees everything Thomas has forgotten over the years swirling around him. Random textbooks from high school, papers filled with scrapped ideas for videos, even a couple trophys that looked cheep and plastic. This is The Forgotten…

{°°°} 

Everyone has The Forgotten. It's not that special to have one. Everyone forgets. Insignificant crushes. The goldfish you had when you were six. The coffee you ordered three days ago. The list is endless and always growing, fitting more stuff in as you forget it. It's endless because you never remember everything. 

To the sides it's deadly. If they end up there it's almost impossible to get out. While you're in it the host forgets you even if the other sides don't. It’s lonely and cold and when you're trapped in a sea of black inky goo and if you try to swim to the surface you still can't emerge, as if there's something like an invisible force keeping you trapped, unable to reach for help.

Virgil knew this. It terrified him. He didn't want to be alone. He’d already been alone. Why was he always alone. He’d lost track of time but it felt like a forever since he got trapped in this unusually cruel hell. He kept calling for help even if he knew no one would hear him. He endlessly screamed the others names. He didn't expect them to be looking for him, but he gained some comfort fooling himself to think they were.

“PATTON!!!”

“LOGAN!!”

“ROMAN!”

 

“anyone…”

He curled in on himself, shivering.

 

Someone help me.

{°°°}

[Hands were wrapped around his arms and legs. All of them dripping black and clawing into his skin. He was calling out for Virgil but receiving no response and slowly being pull down into the sea of hands that were grasping for him. He fought the arms trying to peel away as they left black stains along his clothes. He kept calling hoping to get some response before he was pulled down completely. 

Someone help me.

His head snapped up looking for the voice. There. Virgil was curled up, crying. He tries to call out to the other side but as soon as he opens his mouth a slippery black hand slams over his mouth. It stays there, cutting off air as he struggles. The edges of his vision start to blacken out as he’s yanked down. He looks at Virgil helplessly, unable to comfort him.

I’m coming for you. I promise.

He blacks out.

{°°°}

Back in the mindscape Patton’s eyes snap open.

Virgil.


	3. Recounting the Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan knows...

“LOGAN!! ROMAN!!” 

As soon as the two sides heard Patton yell their names they both surge onto their feet, running as fast as they could to Patton's room. 

Just as Logan was about to burst in, Roman close behind, Patton flings open his door, showing himself for the first time in a week. They both take in the sight of the other side and their hearts promptly break.

Patton’s hair was sweaty, matted and was styled in unkept knots. His clothes hung of his body too loosely, and Logan recognized it as the beginning edge of malnourishment, from lack of food and minimal water intake. His cheeks were flushed red despite the rest of his skin looking pale and sweaty, tears tracks were streaked across his face and his lips were split and swollen red from being bitten down on. His eyes were the worst. The were puffy, red, horribly bloodshot, and had purple bruises under them from exhaustion but they held something dangerously close to rage.

Logan leans forward a bit as Patton slowly sways on his feet, eyes becoming unfocused. “Patton? Are you… okay?”

“I… I saw Virgil.”

He sees the other two looking at him as if he grew horns.

“Patton, I realize you're still distraught about Virgil, but joking about this is not-”

“NO! I SAW HIM, I FELT HIM! He was… so … broken.” Patton tried to take a step forward but his legs buckle and give out sending his towards the floor. Logan, who was closer and already expecting it, surges forward, catching Patton and lifting him to his feet but keeping his arms around the other. 

“Patton… you need rest, a proper meal and a shower. We can talk about this later but you need your strength to do so.” 

Logan's voice is soft and caring. Patton is tempted to fall asleep right there but he can't. Virgil needs help and his kid comes before him.

Even as he sags further into Logan's arms he tries to protest. “No… Needs help help… Virgil…”

He falls asleep where he stands in Logan's arms, the other catching him before he slips to the floor. “Roman, we might need to set up the couch for Patton and make something of sustenance for him to eat when he wakes. I do not believe it is a good idea to leave him out of sight.” 

He turns just as a flash goes off and flinches back at the unexpected light, blinking the spots away. 

“Did you just…?”

“...Yes...”

“...why…?”

“Because you are cradling dad in your arms and it's really cute.”

“I am doing no such thing!”

“Look down, space case.”

Logan looks down to find that he's unknowingly picked up the moral side in a bridal stye like fashion. As he'd done so, Patton had nuzzled in close, his bangs falling in his face and his mouth open slightly as he breathed deeply. A blush spread across Logan's cheeks at the sight and Roman snickered, drawing his attention once more. “Delete it.”

The prince smirked walking down the stairs. “Not on your life.” 

Logan followed. “I will get you if you show anyone.”

“Im sure.”

{***} 

Patton woke up to his head pounding and the smell of eggs. He blinked several times before he realized he didn't have his glasses. 

“Good morning padre!” Roman stepped into his blurry line of sight and handed him something. He took it and felt that it was his glasses. He shoved them on and looked up at Roman. “Where-?”

“Oh yes! You must be disoriented! After you passed out, me and Logan-”

A shout from the kitchen. “Logan and I!”

Priney glares lightly and starts again. “Me and Logan, Thought it would be best to have you sleep on the couch so we could keep an eye on you…” 

Patton nods slowly before his eyes widen. “Roman? How long was I asleep?” He sees Roman hesitate before opening his mouth. 

“Three days.”

Patton jumps up and starts pacing, biting his nails as he does. “Why didn't you wake me up!?”

Logan walking into the living room, pushing up his glasses. “Patton, you literally collapsed. You needed to sleep for as long as your body required you to. We both have been… anxious about what you have to tell us but we didn't feel the need to wake you…” He trails off when he sees Patton giving him The Dad Glare.

“Well you should have! Virgil comes first! Especially after what we did to him!” 

“Virgil's gone padre…”

“NO!”

“Patton-”

“SHUT UP, LOGAN!!” He takes a deep breath, calming down as the others reel back in shock. “I'm sorry but... Now it's your turn to listen…” He starts pacing again and and motions to the couch he was just sleeping on, telling them silently to sit. After a few minutes he talks. 

“I saw Virgil. And-” He raises his hand and stops the others from interrupting him. “I know it sounds ridiculous but I know what I saw.” He tugs at the hoodie around his figure, silently grateful that the others left it on him. “What I felt…” He looks at them finally, his eyes moist. 

“I was kinda floating at first, calling out for Virgil before there were hands. Hands everywhere. They were covered in black goo and too strong. I- I couldn't get away. They were pulling me down… and then I saw Virgil. He was curled up on his side, crying and floating… like I was… I tried to get to him but the hands-” He sobs but stop Roman from moving closer. “I couldn't move. I tried to call out to him but then one… stopped me. I couldn't breath… and I just wanted to hold him again…” He's crying now and he can hear the others holding back their own tears. “But what gave it away. The fact that it wasn't just a dream… he didn't have his hoodie. He always has his hoodie. Always.” 

The sit in silence for a bit, Logan and Roman processing his words and Patton calming down from crying. It's a while before anyone speaks and it's Roman who does so. 

“Do you know if there's anyway to find him? Or where he even is?” 

Patton shakes his head, trying to dry his eyes. “No. All I know is that I we were floating in darkness. Kinda like a liquid but I could breath..? Is was dark and cold too…”

They all sit more until Logan coughs, startling the others but getting their attention. 

“I may know the place you speak of, Patton…”


End file.
